Cry It Out

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C1 has sadly been sick 3 times in the past 4 months.  Just a simple stuffy nose; which turns into a horrible sounding cough.  This last sickness he didn’t have a fever, so that’s good.  I feel bad when he’s sick and cuddle him a lot more than normal, especially when it comes to going to sleep.  He cries and I hold him.  See, when he cries it breaks my heart and I want to be there for him, and by holding him, it puts my heart back together and calms him down.  Because of this though, C1 has gotten use to sleeping in  my arms.

A couple nights ago, C1 kept waking up crying.  We would hold him until he went back to sleep, except, when we went to put him down again, he would instantly wake up crying again.  He needs his sleep, but so do we, we cannot hold him all night long.  So, again, we instituted the ‘cry it out’ method of getting him to sleep when he needed to; without taking up all of our time.  We decided that nap time is at 9am and 1pm and bed at 7pm (he wakes at 7am).

Day 1, we put C1 down for his nap at 9am.  He cries, and cries, and cries and cries.  15 minutes in, it’s breaking my heart, and I can hardly stand to hear him cry, I want so bad to go rescue him so he can get the sleep that he needs.  30 minutes in I peek in on him (still crying) and just watch him; desperate to rescue him.  50 minutes after we put him down, he finally falls asleep.  My heart is not only broken, but in pieces.  My poor boy.  That was hard, and I wasn’t looking forward to afternoon nap and doing that all over again.

1pm comes, we put him down for his nap.  He starts crying.  Ugh.  My heart can’t handle him crying like this.  I try to clean the house or something to distract myself from him.  Luckily this time, he only cried for 30 minutes before falling asleep.  It must be working, he’s figuring out that we will no longer rescue him and that he just needs to sleep.

Bed time comes 7pm (I’m out at a Women’s Conference); Hubby puts him down for bed.  I’m glad I wasn’t home, I just love to cuddle my boy.  Hubby said, it took him about 15 minutes to fall asleep.  Sweet, our time is being cut in half each time!  C1 did wake at 11pm; where hubby held him trying to feed him; but that didn’t work.  I went in at midnight; lay him in his crib to feed him; he ate, cried for a bit and went back to sleep.

Day 2 nap time; 9am.  I put him down and he cries.  I pray it doesn’t take an hour or even half an hour like yesterday.  He cries for 6 minutes and he falls asleep!  YAHOO, it’s working.  1pm nap time again.  We had a linger longer after church, so we got him down a few minutes late, but still it’s 1pm(ish).  It took 15 min. for him to fall asleep.  Not too bad.  Bedtime on day 2; he’s been quite fussy between dinner and bedtime.  He’s not eating very well, so I’m not sure what’s going on with him.  Bedtime only took 5 minutes though.

One questions though.  Every Sunday our church services start at 9am.  What do I do?  Do I keep him home for his nap and then go to church when he wakes up; arriving very late?  Do I let him skip his morning nap every Sunday?  Do I force him to sleep at church once we arrive?  How do  you handle nap time during church?

C1 has the funniest position to sleep in.  He sleeps on his stomach.  I know, NEVER let your child sleep on their stomach; but there is no way of preventing it.  Before I even lay him down all the way he’s rolling over.  I just accept it.  He also like to be on his knees; which means his bum is up in the air.

Things to clue C1 in that it’s time for sleep:

*We try not to feed him right before going down; we don’t want to associate food with sleep

*we read him a book for cuddle time

*we sing him a song

*we lay him in his crib, and simply walk away

*when he wakes, we go get him right away

*we are excited that he’s awake and praise him for taking a good nap

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3 responses »

  1. Naptime at our house is pretty flexible. The boys wake up any where from 7:30 to 8:30 am. They have breakfast, playtime and when they start to get fussy (usually around 10:30 – 11:00) they go down for a nap. The afternoon nap time is also flexible but they are usually ready for a nap around 12:30 – 1:00. They usually sleep for a couple of hours in the afternoon.

    As for church versus nap, that can be tricky. Since the boys are usually ready for a nap at the same time church starts (1:00 pm) we try to have them dressed and ready for church, even though they may be asleep. The oldest boy goes to nursery so he is occupied after Sacrament meeting. The other one is the challenge. He won’t fall asleep at church so there is much walking in the hall with him. He starts nursery in December so we’ll see how that works.

    Keep in mind that babyhood doesn’t last forever and they will learn to sit through church. The important thing is for you to be at church and feel of the spirit and renew your covenants. That’s how you get the strength to face the challenges of the upcoming week.

    We love you and think you are doing a great job of raising C1.

  2. Hey J, I have heard from our kiddos Doctor that once they can roll over by themselves don’t worry too much about your child being on their tummies. It is sort of like they are telling us that they’re ready to move onto the next stage of development. The answer to the question of nap time and church, personally is simple. He needs to hear the Word and be there at church. There might be times where he cries but he’ll learn that he can sleep on your shoulder or lap. With J he’s gone to church from day one and knows now when to fold his hands and when to play quietly. Yes, there are times I need to take him out when we’re praying or during the pastor’s sermon. I have only needed to do this three times and he is showing (everytime he is out) that he’d rather be in with the people because then he can have “freedom” to read a book or play with something quiet but when he’s out he sits on my lap with no toys or anything and has to just sit there. I know that might sound mean but it has helped me teach him how important the service is. I know from people around us love to hear him coo or sing because it shows that even the littlest are hearing the Word. There are going to be times where you think you and him have not heard a word of the service or that it “was a bust” or a “waste of time” (not church but being there because he is just having a day) but stay focus and when you are home from church you’ll notice that you actually did hear and get something out of the service for that day. The more they spend in church and sunday school or anywhere where you would like them to be as they get older, the more they will start to understand and know what to do at those areas. Your kiddo is a month yonger than mine and I am sure it won’t take too long and he’ll be either sleeping on your shoulder or reading a book or what not. Teaching them from day one to be respectful to the Lord (as much as they can at a young age) will help when they are 2 or 3 and you want them there. Each child is different and each parent needs to find their own style but personally, I must stress that your kiddo goes to church…it will only help you in the future when he gets older. I hope this helps and if you need advice of what I’ve done I’ll share with ya. I also hope you don’t feel like you are failing. You are a great mom and no matter how much you “plan” or “teach” your child you will have days where you are stressed and they have just have been out more than they have been in the service. Everyone does! On those days one idea is come home and put him down for a nap if need be and then later in the day discuss what to do in church and hold your own short church, readings from the day maybe one song or two. This way he gets to hear the word in a calmer environment and will then start to realize the church is also a place to hear the Word. I treat and talk to my kiddo like he is about 2 or 3 months older. I have higher expectations for him though I know he won’t understand most of what I’m saying but when he gets older if I continue to do the same things he will know what the limits are and yes, he will test them but he will also know how far to go. Again, this is just my thoughts and what I have done. I might take a while for things to work out but really think about how you would like you kiddo and the future kiddos to behave and with in limits of their age disapline and talk to them the same as what they would get later in life (tenderly and softer when they are littler than when the should “know better” around 3 – personally). I hope this helps. Don’t get too done you are doing awesome!

    • I do need to start making the hallways not fun. Right now we’re at the point of “why bother coming, if all we’re going to do is be in the halls”. Thanks for the advice. I’ll have to try it out starting this Sunday.

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