or maybe it’s depressed. I’m not really sure how to define how I feel, but I know I’m NOT HAPPY. I don’t know why I’m not happy, I have every reason to be. I have a pretty good husband, a pretty good child, I don’t have to work outside the home, I get to craft often (half the living room is my craft area). All in all I’ve really got it pretty good. But there is something else controlling my feelings and I can’t seem to shake it. I’ve tried counseling, didn’t help, I’ve tried Zoloft, either I forgot to take it often enough that it didn’t work, or it simply didn’t work. I’ve tried SAMEe (a mood booster), but it actually had the opposite effect on me, it made my moods worse. I don’t know what’s wrong with me or how to make it better. It’s sometimes easier to be unhappy, but it’s not all that fun. The past two days I’ve sort of given up on my awesome dollar program and being healthy. I’ve been stuck at the same weight for two weeks and it’s frustrating.
My favorite blame for being unhappy is the city. I don’t enjoy living here and as I’ve mentioned, I dream every day of when we get to move. However, I don’t know that moving will be the answer. It’s one of those; “I’ll be happy when…” a never ending statement; there is always something more we think will make us happy.
And still I simply carry on.